In Memory of Shawn Lee Boggess

I have been thinking about my dear friend Shawn a great deal lately.  For those of you who did not have the honor and pleasure of knowing Shawn, he passed away on November 30, 2008.  His birthday is March 17, and, if he were still with us, he would be turning 25 this week.  His passing devastated our entire home town of South Charleston (forgive me, "Sooooo Chasssssss"). I wasn't able to make it home for his visitation services because I was taking my first law school final, but, if I remember correctly, the street leading to the funeral home was shut down because he had so many visitors.  That was Shawn - if he was going to do something, he was going to do it big! But, on a serious level, that really was Shawn - so nice to so many people that everyone who knew him wanted to pay their respects.  So many people came to his funeral (which I am thankful that I was able to attend to say goodbye) that people had to stand in a separate room.

He has been gone for a little over two years now, but I still haven't fully come to terms with it.  I just keep thinking that I am going to run into him at a bar in Charleston or Morgantown.  It was still difficult this summer, after nearly two years, to see his grandmother at my wedding but know that he wouldn't be there. I've known Shawn since I was six or seven years old.  I played soccer with him for almost 10 years. I went to elementary, junior high, and high school with him.  We also both attended WVU for undergrad.  As we grew up and studied different areas in college, we hung out less and less, but every time that I saw him, we hugged and laughed and it was as if we'd been hanging out all along.

Unfortunately, I am not a stranger to death.  I had lost several family members by this point, but Shawn's death truly affected me.  I had never lost a friend.  I had never really known anyone my age who passed away - Sure,  I knew of acquaintances and friends-of-friends my age who passed away, but never someone that I had such a long history with.  It was confusing, devastating, and unbelievable.  My heart broke for his family and his friends.  I don't even know that I should separate those two categories of people, because Shawn's friends, especially his boys, were his family.  Anyone who knew Shawn knew that he was extremely close with his mother, Dawn.  He wasn't like most boys - embarrassed by their moms.  They were best friends, and he wasn't embarrassed by that.  I remember seeing them at a tailgate in college, and he stayed right by her side the whole time, partying and joking around with his friends and his mom.  Part of what made Shawn's death so difficult for me was the thought of the extent of Dawn's loss.  But, in true Dawn fashion, she was the picture of strength.  She wanted to make sure that Shawn's friends were OK.  I am ashamed to say that I stayed away after the funeral.  I just didn't know what to say, and I didn't know if she would want to deal with any more visitors.  When I was home over Christmas break, she actually called my house to see how I was doing and asked me to stop by and see her.  She sat me down in her living room and asked me if I was OK.  Since I didn't really know if I was OK, I just said what I had been thinking.  I explained how I didn't really know how I felt and said, "I know this is weird, but when I was in the shower the day after he died I caught myself wondering 'Oh crap - can Shawn see me right now?"  I immediately felt like an idiot, but Dawn laughed and told me she had thought the same thing.  The fact that, despite the tragedy that she was going through, she wanted to make sure that I was (and that all of Shawn's friends were) OK is something that deeply touched my heart and something that I don't think that I have ever properly thanked her for.  I know where Shawn got his good heart.

Shawn was an amazing man.  He was a loyal friend, an adorably loving big brother & son, and just a genuinely wonderful person.  The world is a little less bright with him gone.  He always treated me like "one of the guys."  I still laugh when I think about him playing little league soccer with me on the King Kobra Kickers, running around the field with that goofy smile of his. I wish that he were still with us, and that we would be celebrating his upcoming birthday by going out on the town, but I know he is in a better place.  Everyday I hope that his boys, and his girl friends that he remained closer with, are OK.

So, in closing, I ask that everyone please close their eyes on the 17th and wish Shawn a happy birthday and drink one for him!

Happy (almost) Birthday Shawn - you are loved and missed more than words can say. I hope that you are in Heaven yelling "Sooo Chassss!" I'll be seeing ya  . . .